6 October - Wörter sind toll!*

'Wörter sind toll' - or, in English - words are great. Except, in English, I'd not use 'great'. What a mediocre word to describe language! I'd prefer to say that words are; complicated yet excitingly challenging. Words are beautifully tricky. Words can be very powerful. Words help to explain stuff!

It's not quite true to say that in Germany, everybody speaks English. Older people who work in the services industries tend to have a very basic grasp on English. So, when a person with a very basic grasp on German requires the services of a person with a very basic grasp on English, only disappointment and/or hijinks can ensue. So, let's imagine that the English speaker is me. Now let's imagine that the German speaker is a German postal worker. Now imagine me at the post office with a mildly complicated request. This request involved the purchasing of a postal bag in which I would put a small item to then be weighed before being sent to Australia.

Much like Australian post offices this one was grossly understaffed, with a queue approximately 25 people deep and extending onto the street. When I was finally served thirty minutes later, I approached Frau postal worker with a smile, a complicated combination of hand gestures and a few (badly conjugated) verbs. I was encouraged that I'd managed to make myself understood, so I then prepared to complete the transaction. I was not prepared however for Frau postal worker to send me to the back of the queue because I hadn't actually written on the envelope that I wished to post. Naturally I hadn't written on the envelope because I hadn't paid for the envelope! But, how do I communicate this with only five weeks of elementary German on my side? How do I say 'I understand what you want me to do, I just think it's absurd. I've been waiting long enough already. I'll be very quick if you will just let me fill in the address here. Come on, do me this one favour? By the way, I like what you've done with your hair.' This is what I'm struggling with the most when trying to learn a new language. At what point do you build enough knowledge to use language to charm, to entertain or to make people laugh?

This struggle reoccurs every weekday at approximately 10am. This is when we have our short break from class. From day one I've been getting a coffee from the same shop where I'm served by a very charming husband and wife team. I've been going to class almost five weeks now, that means I've brought approximately 25 coffees from this couple. The most upsetting news? The coffee is woeful. Yet, I keep returning. I keep returning because I really like the couple and I don't have the capacity to say 'stop burning the bejesus out of that milk. Your coffee gives me third degree burns on the roof of my mouth!' If English were our common language I could tell them this because I could frame the criticism as a joke or at the very least make a subtle (non-hurtful) recommendation on my desired coffee temperature.

In my German class there is a recently married girl from China. She is learning German because her new husband is Swiss. Their common language is English. This girl's English is as advanced as my German (i.e. extremely basic). How does this possibly work? How often, in relationships, have we either heard or declared 'talk to me!' It's hard enough to explain certain emotions in a language I've known all my life. Imagine only having the ability to say to your partner 'I am sad', or 'I am happy'. How frustrating and dis-empowering. 

I'm now resigned to the fact that at this stage of my adventure, I'll need to be satisfied with the most basic of expressions. I plan on sending another package to Australia shortly, so, in preparation, I've managed to memorise 'ich bin traurig' - I am sad. Though, on second thoughts, maybe I should look into the German translation for 'that's a really nice uniform you've got on'.

*Just to prove that words are indeed tricky, since posting this I've realised I had the plural form of 'words' wrong - so, I've fixed it. Sorry German speakers.