29 September - What's love got to do with it?

I've been thinking a lot about love lately. Specifically, I've been thinking about love since being asked by a very special friend to do a reading at his wedding. Besides being extremely honored, I'm also terrified. I don't have a major issue with public speaking, the thing that has me in a panic, is that I'm to select the reading. Naturally, this reading needs to be romantic but not saccharine, memorable but not baffling - basically it needs to be pretty awesome to do justice to my friend and his future wife.

I've read many texts about love - mad love, romantic love, new love, throwing yourself in front of a train love, but, none of these types of love are adequate expressions of what I believe love to be. Like most young girls, I had an obsession with novels written in the 1800s by the likes of Jane Austen or one/all of the Brontë sisters. By the time I was 18 I was totally perplexed as to why a tall, dark, rich, arrogant (yet with a heart of gold) suitor, had failed to materialise and ask for my hand. Naturally I would refuse the first time before discovering that I'd been wrong about him all along and he really was my one, true, love. However, by my early 20s it became most evident that this type of love either didn't exist, or didn't exist in the Queensland suburbs.

Now in my early 30s, I'm still not sure literature and songs have helped me formulate the right definition. Perhaps I just don't have it in me, but, I'm yet to experience the extremities of love that would cause me to stab myself in the chest with a knife. I think the worst it has gotten for me is a week under the doona and spontaneous tears at the office. And that felt like shit, so, I pity the poor person who has the desire to punch a wall with his/her head.

The internet proved diabolical in helping me in my quest. Suggestions range from passages in Lord of the Rings to more bible than you can poke a misogynist finger at. So, off to the music collection I go. No Elliot Smith then (for reasons stated above), no Wilco (I'm never sure if Jeff is singing about a woman or heroin)...hold up, what do we have here...Tex Perkins, 'Real Love';
'What we got is real love. It ain't a bit deal love, but it has its appeal love. It's real, it's here and it's love. It ain't for the crowds love. It ain't in the clouds love...it ain't jumpin off bridges love...sometimes it's dull love but I love that dullness too. It ain't in the kisses, it ain't gettin your wishes, it's doin the dishes, that's real, real love.'

Why is this song so appealing to me? I think it's because it goes someway to explain what one of the best parts of being in love is - respect and friendship. This became particularly evident to me over the last few days when I've had friends visiting from Australia. This couple are one of my favourite examples of a successful relationship. In the three days we spent together, I did a bit of observation. How do they make it work? What does their love look like? To my mind, it seemed as simple as looking out for each other, looking after each other - just being a good team.

Unfortunately though, this simplistic definition is unlikely to bring the house down at my friend's wedding - unless it's with mass booing. So, it's back to iTunes for me. Alternatively, my incredibly wise and romantic friends can send me some suggestions. Please.