I did one of those Myers-Briggs Type Indicator tests once. In short, the Myers-Briggs is a questionnaire aimed to pigeonhole your personality type. There are two sets of four 'types', and depending on how you answer the questionnaire, you're given points to determine if you're either; Extroverted/Introverted; Sensing/Intuition; Thinking/Feeling; Judgement/Perception. From memory, I believe I'm Introverted, Intuition, Thinking, Judgement (INTJ). Rather than bore you with what this (apparently) means, safe to say, that in the world of Myers-Briggs, I'm something of a dictatorial sociopath. Upon first getting these results I was particularly struck by the 'Introverted' read. The 'facilitator' (i.e. quack) was immediately set upon.
'I don't agree with this', I shouted in a dictatorial and anti-social manner. 'Introverts are friendless blokes who collect comic books. I have many friends, I'm not a man, and I don't like comics!' The facilitator aimed to calm me (I suspect she was swaying towards the Sensing and Feeling areas).
'It's not about not having friends, introverts just have fewer, closer friends, and they tend to expend energy in social situations. Would you choose to go to a movie on your own for example?'
'Of course I would', I snorted.
At which point I heard a gasp of despair from a fellow lab rat.
'There is no way in the world I'd go to a movie on my own', she cried.
It simply never occurred to me that there were people in the world who needed to be around others constantly. This continues to be driven home to me when meeting new people in Berlin. 'Oh, so you have friends here?' is the standard response.
'No, just me'.
'But don't you get lonely?'
'Nope, there's the internet. And phones, there are always phones'.
This situation has played out a few times now, actually causing me to question; 'am I lonely?' Funnily enough, I think about times I've felt truly alone and it turns out it's been when I've been in a relationship. Granted, it's been in the death throes of that relationship. You know that time when you just know it's going to end. Has to end. But that's more about the prospect of potential loneliness, rather than actual loneliness.
Don't get me wrong, I love people. Really, I do. There are just some things that are better done solo. These include; reading (obviously a solo pursuit). Watching movies (it's a silent experience, why do you need someone with you?). Going to art galleries (I set an irregular pace - often galloping past the 'important' works and spending much too long obsessing over misplaced apostrophes on wall labels). Listening to incredibly embarrassing music from the 1990s (Hole or L7 anybody? I didn't think so).
Admittedly, hours spent in my own head does put me at risk of very soon starting on that comic book collection. So, as a preventative measure, I've begun compiling a list of things that are better done with others. These include; cooking and eating out (it's much more fun getting praise for a meal just cooked, or trying food from somebody's plate). Drinking (I also like to do this solo, but, it is generally more fun with others). Dancing and singing (an all night karaoke session in LA involving a Nancy Sinatra duet and the company of three awesome ladies remains a memory highlight). Attending weddings* (the best forum in which to do all of the above).
So, back to Berlin time. From my favourite aforementioned solo pastimes I've indulged in them all (usually daily). The team pastimes have been put on hold until the arrival of visitors. And the fact is, whilst they are certainly enjoyable things to do, who could do karaoke everyday? How would you have energy to read/watch/view/listen to the things around you? The prospect of not being able to do these things makes me feel very lonely indeed.
*S, you are exempt from granting me a plus one to your upcoming nuptials - considering you are generally my back up date anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment